Santa And Soldier Poem
(aka Soldier's Christmas Poem, Santa and the Soldier, Carry on Santa, Twas The Night Before Christmas Santa and Soldier Poem)
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AP Photo/Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department
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As I've listened and read the various pundits and followed my news junkie addiction, I can't tell you the number of times I've read about someone saying I'm sorry whether it is Mel Gibson, Michael Richards, or various others. What is this?
Well, what else can you do when you've messed up but say, "I'm sorry." Screwing-up, is, in a sense, a human condition.
If someone messes-up, better they say "I'm sorry" than not. Their screw-ups don't vanish with the "I'm sorry;" but, still, they've done what they can. Let's give them the benefit of the doubt.
A MALE CHAVINIST THING
Recently in a Newsweek column, Anna Quindlen,
I thought, put a somewhat different spin on giving an apology. Her opinion was not totally to my liking because, let's face it, we male types somehow are a little or a lot turned off when writers refer to gender in most everything. In her case, she had the audacity to say there's a type of masculinity or American style machismo that has to do with saying "I'm sorry." I smiled as she is more right than wrong. It is probably in the same part of our midget brain as asking for directions.
PUBLIC "I'm Sorry"
The apologies I'd like to hear are from politicians. Just once I'd like to hear a politician say, I screwed-up.
The closest I've heard lately came from Gordon Smith, who, at the Senate’s lame duck session, suddenly rose to give one of the most passionate and surprising speeches about the war in Iraq. He didn't exactly say "I'm sorry", but he came close. For a Republican, who originally voted for the war, I think that's pretty good.
I AM NOT GOING TO ADMIT I MESSED UP
People in public life(or private for that matter) rarely say "I'm sorry." Most aren't. Do you think Bob Nardelli who just resigned from Office Depot with a 210 million dollar severance package(aka golden parachute) is in the least bit sorry that he hurt thecompany. I don't think so.
You better believe Presidents or countries don't apologize. I did read recently that some newspapers apologized for discrimination policies and other foibles that happened a century ago. Better late than never, I guess.
Quindlen
, in her article, dissects apologies and infers that politicians are reluctant maybe because they would be subjected to pundits, newspaper columnists, radio and TV screamers and bloggers. Even Gorden Smith(on his most recent Iraq war comments) was excoriated for being four years late or wanting to pass the buck to the President.
WHY NOT APOLOGIZE
If someone wants to question one's motives, there are plenty of venues to do it. What Quindlen also seems to be implying is that politicians and presidents don't apologize for political reasons even though they realize they are wrong. Since we can't know their private thoughts, we simply don't know why they are reluctant. We have history. I still feel badly that Bill didn't apologize to Monica.
I like what Samantha Power said in her book, A Problem From Hell: America and The Age of Genocide (what a title?) "Whether regarding the Vietnam war, America's cold war assassinations, or our misguided former alliance with Saddam Hussein, American officials kept their eyes fixed on the future. They rarely admit responsibility for failure, for costly meddling or for large scale human suffering. They resist debate-internally or publicly-on how good intentions went astray. And they most certainly don't apologize to those harmed." We can not forget Robert McNamara's words,"I was wrong, terribly wrong." Thanks if a tad too late.
APOLOGIZING IS NOT A DREADED DISEASE
Quindlen quotes author, Deborah Tannen (author of such books as You just don't understand...), who says an apology has four parts: (1)admitting fault, (2)showing remorse, (3)acknowledging damage and (4)indicating how it will be repaired. I'm wondering if Ms. Tannen shouldn't apologize for borrowing this concept from Alcoholics Anonymous.
I think saying "I'm sorry" is good for you and most of the time when you screw-up, it will help the situation if you just say, "I f----ed up." When I was in the Army and the commander would summon me for what I knew to be an ass chewing, I would say, "sir, I f..... up." before he could say a word. He then would say, "Go and sin no more." More than likely I took the wind out of his sails by speaking up first.
We've screwed-up in Iraq. I'm not sure establishing blame is going to help us much. But, maybe there is some machismo thing that says until we admit our screw-up, we are stymied in our efforts. However, based on our recent election, we now have a new Congress elected mostly on the basis of admitting our screw-ups in Iraq.
Why can't we say this: "We screwed-up, we admit it and here is my plan for moving out. We're sorry, but there's nothing else we can do. Out of here."
KT
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