November 19, 2006
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Still Reading The Obituaries...


life on the death beat book jacket
Life On The Death Beat
I always read the obituaries. Many folks say it is a sign of getting old, but I've always done it. One of my buddies in Arizona once was an obituary writer for the Phoenix Sun. Before I got to know him, I didn't know there was such an occupation.

All obituaries are sad, but some are amusing and leave you wondering "Why would they write that?"

The obituaries that I read yesterday were a hoot: One was about this guy who was the "door keeper" for the Geary theater in San Francisco, where many of the nationally renowned plays are performed before going on to Broadway.

This guy and his third wife had been married for forty-one years; and, in one statement, she said, "We've been married a long time but I don't know much about him. He didn't share a lot."

I smiled. Forty-one years together and you not know much about your mate? The paper merely said, "Despite being married all this time, Mr. Kershaw was private about his life." OK?

Another obituary was about a local guy from San Francisco who died of AIDs. He was a ventriloquist and had kept a diary of his illness. He apparently was somewhat irascible and the paper said, "Despite his public roles, Mr. Kay was far from famous or even well liked. His father loved him; but, even he admits, that Mr. Kay was often annoying, even alienating. He was a fussbudget. He was demanding. Everything had to be his way."- Weird. In North Carolina, we have an unwritten rule, you never "speak ill of the dead."

When folks write obituaries, they should see death more like a quote from William Shakespeare:

And, when he shall die, take him and cut him out in little stars and he will make the face of Heaven so fine that all the world will be in love with light.
WM Shakespere


The night before the burial of her husband, Katherine Cathey refused to leave the casket, asking to sleep next to him for the last time. The Marines made a bed for her, tucking in the sheets below the flag. Before she fell asleep, she opened her laptop computer and played songs that would have been played at a formal wedding they never held. She asked the Marines to continue standing watch.
Todd Heisler The Rocky Mountain News
A few days ago a friend of mine e-mailed me a link to an article written by Jim Sheeler of the Rocky Mountain News in Denver, Colorado entitled Final Salute.

In the article, Major Steve Beck, a Marine casuality assistance officer, describes one of the most "powerful" death notifications in which he participated. It was the death notification of 2nd. Lt. James Cathey.

You read about the Major's time with the Lt. James Cathey's pregnant wife, Katherine, and his family. The most powerful moment, in my opinion, was when Katherine requested to sleep beside her husband one more time; so, the night before the funeral, the Marines made her a bed with blankets and mattress in front of James' casket and stood guard over James and Katherine the entire night.

Read Final Salute by Jim Sheeler KT

These articles were originally posted April 14, 2006




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