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| Grief and War By Kelly Thomas
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Left. to Right: Richard, Pat, Kevin at Pat's Wedding (AP Photo)
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I can remember listening to Pat Tillman's brother-in-law speaking at his memorial service. A man who is angry I thought. I surely understand. Tillman, who has received more ink in death than life, is a heroic figure.
Pat was a multimillion dollar NFL player, who gave it all up to fight for his country. And, then, at the epitome of his prowess as an airborne ranger, he was killed. First, there was his heroic death( if there is such a thing); then his family discovered, that in all probability, he was killed by friendly fire. In the heat of battle, when chaos loomed all around, Tillman was killed and then charges of a cover-up surfaced.
His compatriots, for mostly noble reasons, I think, called it enemy fire with a scenario to go with it. The family pushed and politics got involved resulting in no less than five investigations.
In the midst of it all is grief, however, and I come down on the side of letting it be. Soldiers in combat, if they have a choice, want to die by the hand of the enemy, although no soldier talks about it. Why don't soldiers talk? War is hell (no day at the beach) and second guessing should be left to the armchair tacticians or as Pat Tillman might say, "the armchair quarterbacks."
Grief is a sad and a difficult experience and there are no two people who handle it alike. Trust Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, who for years, was the guru on death. She said "grief" had at least five stages: (1) shock, (2) unbelief, (3) bargaining, (4) anger, and in some form or another (5) acceptance. And, not necessarily in that order. Sad.
Recently, Pat Tillman's brother Kevin, who served with him, wrote an article criticizing the war and naming names, mostly the President and all his team, who are easy to blame and rightly so. But regardless, grief is the operative word here.
Kevin Tillman's article included these words: "Somehow back at home, support for the soldiers meant having a five-year-old kindergartener scribble a picture with crayons and send it overseas, or slapping stickers on cars, or lobbying Congress for an extra pad in a helmet. It’s interesting that a soldier on his third or fourth tour should care about a drawing from a five-year-old; or a faded sticker on a car as his friends die around him; or an extra pad in a helmet, as if it will protect him when an IED throws his vehicle 50 feet into the air as his body comes apart and his skin melts to the seat." God bless Kevin Tillman and the Tillman Family.
Related Articles:
After Pat's Birthday(Recent Article written by Kevin Tillman on truthdig.com)
A Family Seeking Answers
Investigations into Pat's Death
The Power Of Grief
San Francisco Chronicle Article: Family Demands Truth
Pat Tillman: Great American Hero Killed By Friendly Fire
The Traitor and The Patriot
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| Sunday Weekend Webzine 10.29.06
These are just a few inspirational thoughts (we hope) put together for those of us who couldn't get to the mosque, synagogue, or church of our choice this weekend. If you don't gain any inspiration, maybe you'll enjoy reading something a little different. This weekend webzine includes comments on the books, Tempting Faith and What Should I Do With My Life; great photos of soldiers and an Iraqi boy; and how to send e-cards to American soldiers.
Sunday Webzine 10.29.06
The link above requires adobe acrobat reader. If you don't already have it, you can download at Adobe.com. If you have adobe reader, click first on the link above. It should open; but, if not, then open adobe reader and then click on the link above.
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